KMAX: SACRAMENTO MAGAZINE...CAR WASH
SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE'VE TALKED. I'VE SPENT SUCH LONG HOURS THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS MAKING TV, I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO WRITE ABOUT MAKING TV. I'VE HAD COUNTLESS EMAILS FROM PEOPLE ASKING WHY I DIDN'T WEAR A HELMET WHEN I SKATEBOARDED WITH LEGEND TONY ALVA YESTERDAY. STUPIDITY IS THE FIRST REASON....BUT TRUTH BE TOLD I WASN'T REALLY DOING TRICKS AT THAT POINT. WHEN WE CAME BACK IN THE NEXT SEGMENT AND I WAS SKATIN' THE CEMENT BOWLS IN FOLSOM, I HAD ALL THE GEAR...PEEPS, PLEASE WEAR HELMETS WHEN YOU DO THAT STUFF!!! YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO FALL AND HIT YOUR HEAD AND BECOME A KCRA VIEWER, WOULD YA?TODAY'S THE FIRST DAY I DON'T SMELL LIKE NEW CAR...THAT'S THE FRAGRANCE GARY SELECTED WHEN HE AND I WENT THROUGH HARV'S CAR WASH IN A CONVERTIBLE...TOP DOWN...MONDAYS SHOW.I'M OFF AFTER TOMORROW'S SHOW TO INTERVIEW HILLARY DUFF, RIVAL LINSEY LOHAN, ANGELINA JOLIE, BRAD PITT, AND TO SEE AND INTERVIEW THE ENTIRE CAST OF BATMAN BEGINS!!! KEEP POSTED TO THIS BLOG FOR MANY UPDATES OVER THEN NEXT FEW DAYS.OUR 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY IS COMIN' UP, AND SACRAMENTO MAGAZINE IS DOING AN ARTICLE ON THIS MOMENT IN SACRAMENTO BROADCASTING HISTORY. THEY'VE ASKED ME TO CONTRIBUTE (IN ADDITION TO THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE ON OUR SHOW), SPECIFICALLY THEY WANT SECRETS. YOU, MY BLOG BLOOD, WILL BE THE FIRST TO READ THE TRUTHS....LITTLE KNOWN SECRETS FROM MARK S. ALLEN-THE ENTIRE SHOW WAS AN EXPERIMENT IN LAW ENFORCEMENT--SPECIFICALLY CRIMINAL REHABILITATION. THE ENTIRE ON AIR STAFF WAS INCARCERATED FOR VARIOUS REPEAT OFFENSES...NOTHING TOO SERIOUS, EXCEPT FOR TOMA...ANYHOO, AFTER OUR LOCK-DOWN WORK-FURLOW WAS LIFTED AND OUR RESPECTIVE TIME WAS SERVED, THE RATINGS WERE SO GOOD AND THE STATION WAS MAKING SO MUCH MONEY, THE POWERS THAT BE DECIDED TO KEEP IT GOING.ANOTHER SECRET:NICK IS NOT GAY, NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.ANOTHER SECRET:NEITHER AM I...STILL NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT.ANOTHER SECRET:
MY HAIR IS INDEED REAL...REAL CHINCHILLAS. 13 WERE USED TO MAKE THE RUG I WEAR ATOP MY HEAD EACH AND EVERY DAY. (NOTE, ALL DIED OF NATURAL CAUSES, EXCEPT FOR ONE, AND HE WAS EVIL, EVEN BY CHINCHILLA STANDARDS)
ANOTHER SECRET:
TOM LOFFMAN IS ACTUALLY A HIGHLY EVOLVED ROBOTIC ARM OF THE DOPPLER RADAR SYSTEM. IT TAKES MORE POWER TO RUN TOM THAN OUR TRANSMITTER AND STUDIO COMBINED. EARLY IN OUR SHOW'S HISTORY WE EXPERIMENTED WITH A SOLAR POWER SYSTEM FOR THE LOFFMAN, BUT IN POOR WEATHER, WHEN WE NEEDED HIM MOST, IT FAILED TO SUPPLY ENOUGH JUICE.
ANOTHER SECRET:
DESPITE THE FACT THAT OUR LOVE OF GOOD DAY IS SO STRONG WE WOULD DO OUR JOBS FOR FREE, COOPERATE INSISTS ON PAYING US ALL OBSCENE AMOUNTS OF MONEY. OUR LOWEST PAID CREW PERSONNEL CLEARED MORE LAST YEAR THAN THOSE MALOOF GUYS COMBINED.